Moving On With Life

            Little kids have simple thoughts - food, toys, parental love. As a result, they have less worries and their guilt is not practiced very often. When the kid reaches adolescence stage, he becomes concern about friends, crushes, fashion, diet, family, studies, etc. He becomes more sensitive of the things around him. As he encounters new challenges, life demands him to respond rationally in dealing with the circumstances that he is into. He is now able to use his guilt feelings more often than he was a kid. This guilt is an inner voice within him that helps him decide on the course of action to take. As he grows older, the boundary of the things he is concerned of also widens, he worries a lot more and find himself guilty very often. As they say, “Change is the only constant thing in this world”. We change physically, emotionally, psychologically, socially, and spiritually. In order to cope with changing times, we must develop a mature guilt to guide us in evaluating our own selves; so that, we may become worthy to be called ADULTS.

Part of being an adolescent is his relationship with his opposite sex. Once I fell in-love with a friend, he too, was in-love with me. We spent time with each other, we cherished the sweet moments we had and we built dreams together. Graduation came. A new chapter in our lives had to begin-COLLEGE. We needed to part ways, each one traveling towards reaching their goals in life. For 3 yrs, we learned that long distance relationship is very hard. It is a battle against time & space between both of us and how much faith & trust each one has for another. I thought we were and will be able to manage the hardships of this kind of relationship; unfortunately, I was wrong. I was hoping that our relationship would last longer, but I think I should stop hoping. Recently, word came from him, telling me that maybe it’s better off for us to be friends, he even wished me that I’ll find someone who deserves me more. I wanted to fight my love for him, but I decided not to. I have already done everything I could to keep our relationship working. It just did not work as how it should. I would just appear so foolish to cling to my desire. Now, the hard part after this experience is learning to let go of him and moving on with life.

When I had the chance to reflect on my decision once more, I feel that I am just doing what I ought to do. I am doing what is best for both of us - especially for me. Since I find myself so attached with my feelings, “letting go” is my best decision. “Letting go” however is not “getting rid of” or “throwing away”. Let us say, I’m holding a clock and you say, “Let go of it!” That doesn’t mean “throw it out!” I might think that I have to throw it away because I’m attached to it, but that would just be the desire to get rid of it. We tend to think that getting rid of the object is a way of getting rid of the attachment. But if I can contemplate attachment, this grasping of the clock, I realize that there is no point in getting rid of it - it’s a good clock; it keeps good time and is not heavy to carry around. The clock is not the problem. The problem is grasping of the clock. So what should I do? Let it go, lay it aside – put it down gently without any kind of aversion. Then I can pick it up again, see what time it is and lay it aside when necessary.

Similarly, letting go of my relationship with him means that I am letting go of my feelings for him; however, it does not necessarily mean getting rid of him. We may still be friends… there is nothing wrong when the members of an unsuccessful relationship to settle down as friends, right? I need not sink into the deep sea of depression and despair and wallow in it because of what happened. I need not also hate him for hurting and leaving me. It was nobody’s fault when a relationship just won’t work…perhaps we are really not destined to be with each other. It hurts but I choose to lay my feelings aside, I refuse to indulge in the feeling of depression; instead, I want to give myself a chance to see for myself what life has for me after letting go of him… I am moving on with life.

**Nobody has the right to copy this….hehe…philo paper ko to!