Mutual Understanding Demands COMMUNICATION

In relationships, couples must think more of the partnership than they do of themselves. This partnership is an interweaving of interests, and sacrifices will have to be made for the sake of both parties. There must be mutual understanding and concern that security and contentment in relationship will be achieved.

There are no short cuts in building a healthy relationship. No intimate emotional relationship exists between two people for a long time without having some misunderstandings from time to time. Understanding and tolerance are required to overcome feelings of jealousy, anger and suspicion. There must be give-and-take in love…love is learning how and when to sacrifice.

A successful relationship therefore is based on compatibility rather than just only finding the right partner. Both partners must try to be the right person by acting out of mutual respect, love and concern for each other. It must be reminded that there must be no pretensions. Love is an inner feeling and fulfillment arising from the mutual healthy growth with and for the other person.

Lovers build their own dreams and they pursue them together. Dreams are essential for they bind two lovers and make them stronger. In order to build a healthy relationship, a partner must not always try to get things his or her way. There must be only one path to be taken by both, it might be uneven, bumpy and sometimes difficult, but there is always a "mutual path". Mutual understanding therefore is the secret foundation of a relationship. And good communication is the key for mutual understanding.

Everything that happens in a relationship happens through communication. Communication is the very air that a relationship needs to survive. Nothing can happen without it. Everything is possible with it. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Good communication skills are an essential sign of a mature, self-confident adult. According to S.M. Jourard, author of Self-Disclosure: An Experimental Analysis of the transparent Self, "The better the communication in a relationship, the happier the people are in the relationship. " He stresses that it is almost self-evident that one cannot love. He cannot know the other person unless he has engaged in enough mutual disclosure of self to be able to anticipate needs, wants, and the satisfaction of goals.

A healthy relationship is not one in which we are to exist with our eyes closed. We see faults as well as virtues of our lover, and we should accept the fact that no one is perfect. When we love a person, we do not only project on some angles of his personality; rather we view him as a whole individual accepting both his positive and negative traits. This allows us also to make each other be. My partner, for example, by his love has made me fully myself, not just by being what I am but also by being what I can become when I am with him.

As mentioned earlier, misunderstandings are inevitable in a relationship. Without petty quarrels, relationship is no spice and couples won't grow! Whenever misunderstandings occur, we must learn to be patient, tolerant and understanding. Sometimes we tend to be emotional and hence are liable to get into tantrums, which lead our partner to get angry. In times like this, couples must strive not to be angry at the same time. If both parties are not angry at the same time, problems can easily be resolved by adopting the noble spirit of patience, tolerance and understanding. Older people would say, "Better find a partner with traits opposite to yours…because OPPOSITES attract, and they are most likely make good partners"

Love like life is not always smooth. We experience ups and downs. However, the beauty of love is that we share our happiness with the one we love. And when times get hard, we have someone to share our pain with, someone who shall share the misery that we are in, and to lighten up the load that we carry.

Puzzle

Got this from maam mau’s blog…Try to visit the site

 http://www.sudoku-puzzles.net/justsudoku.html

ENJOY!

Installing a Second OS

Feb.9

I was very curious on what UBUNTU features, so i decided to install it. Since, it was my first time to install an OS, naturally that was hard! Perhaps confused with how to partition disks, i was able to wiped out my existing OS(Windows). I shut down the pc and went to bed, but can't fall asleep.

Feb.10

I told some of my friends that i've installed UBUNTU but lost my WIndows. They've told me that it might just be there… That night i explored UBUNTU. 3 UBUNTU taskbar-applications, places, system–perhaps counterpart of programs, my computer, and accessories in windows?  I like the games…mind games…NICE! ANd Ok naman pala ung OpenOffice - MSOffice of linux. Gaim Messenger counterpart of YM. And lots more.

Feb.11

I wished to open my floppy to read files that i saved from the comlab, but cant read floppy drive. I can't even use the internet because modem wasn't configured yet. Can't even add printer…pwede man daw…

Feb.12

There's a need to do post-installation requirements and JOJO is to the rescue..hehe. OMG! I feel so gaga, i've wiped out my windows na, i've got segmented partitions pa! So Jojo followed me through the re-installation process. We also tried to mount the floppy drive; but before i can do that i must remember my password. Damn password! This is a very tiresome experience, starting everything from scratch. Nevertheless, it turned out fun! I learned some UNIX commands…wow! 1st time!

Feb.13

Yey! I was able to change my password! [babaw ng kaligayahan noh?] Well, i can't still read my floppy drive. "must specify file system daw" what should i do? i was able to install windows but applications are not installed in it. At least am able to use the net…YEY!

Now, when i boot my pc. There are 2 options to choose from: windows XP and unkown on drive C. Pakilaya kel ole usa el gentoo?

     I failed to install UBUNTU properly into my PC by myself. I even wiped out my Windows which has important and seemingly important files in it. The files include research papers, softwares/tutorials/updates i downloaded from the net. But everything has its bright side! I didn't have any hard time deciding whether or not to delete files, because at an instant my hard disk was clean. I learned how to install OS, perhaps in the future i won't rush to computer shops for repair…hopefully i can do it by myself.

      I want to take this opportunity to thank JOJO for sharing his time trying to make me comprehend the installation process. I know i've given him a hard time… Thanks!

Moving On With Life

            Little kids have simple thoughts - food, toys, parental love. As a result, they have less worries and their guilt is not practiced very often. When the kid reaches adolescence stage, he becomes concern about friends, crushes, fashion, diet, family, studies, etc. He becomes more sensitive of the things around him. As he encounters new challenges, life demands him to respond rationally in dealing with the circumstances that he is into. He is now able to use his guilt feelings more often than he was a kid. This guilt is an inner voice within him that helps him decide on the course of action to take. As he grows older, the boundary of the things he is concerned of also widens, he worries a lot more and find himself guilty very often. As they say, “Change is the only constant thing in this world”. We change physically, emotionally, psychologically, socially, and spiritually. In order to cope with changing times, we must develop a mature guilt to guide us in evaluating our own selves; so that, we may become worthy to be called ADULTS.

Part of being an adolescent is his relationship with his opposite sex. Once I fell in-love with a friend, he too, was in-love with me. We spent time with each other, we cherished the sweet moments we had and we built dreams together. Graduation came. A new chapter in our lives had to begin-COLLEGE. We needed to part ways, each one traveling towards reaching their goals in life. For 3 yrs, we learned that long distance relationship is very hard. It is a battle against time & space between both of us and how much faith & trust each one has for another. I thought we were and will be able to manage the hardships of this kind of relationship; unfortunately, I was wrong. I was hoping that our relationship would last longer, but I think I should stop hoping. Recently, word came from him, telling me that maybe it’s better off for us to be friends, he even wished me that I’ll find someone who deserves me more. I wanted to fight my love for him, but I decided not to. I have already done everything I could to keep our relationship working. It just did not work as how it should. I would just appear so foolish to cling to my desire. Now, the hard part after this experience is learning to let go of him and moving on with life.

When I had the chance to reflect on my decision once more, I feel that I am just doing what I ought to do. I am doing what is best for both of us - especially for me. Since I find myself so attached with my feelings, “letting go” is my best decision. “Letting go” however is not “getting rid of” or “throwing away”. Let us say, I’m holding a clock and you say, “Let go of it!” That doesn’t mean “throw it out!” I might think that I have to throw it away because I’m attached to it, but that would just be the desire to get rid of it. We tend to think that getting rid of the object is a way of getting rid of the attachment. But if I can contemplate attachment, this grasping of the clock, I realize that there is no point in getting rid of it - it’s a good clock; it keeps good time and is not heavy to carry around. The clock is not the problem. The problem is grasping of the clock. So what should I do? Let it go, lay it aside – put it down gently without any kind of aversion. Then I can pick it up again, see what time it is and lay it aside when necessary.

Similarly, letting go of my relationship with him means that I am letting go of my feelings for him; however, it does not necessarily mean getting rid of him. We may still be friends… there is nothing wrong when the members of an unsuccessful relationship to settle down as friends, right? I need not sink into the deep sea of depression and despair and wallow in it because of what happened. I need not also hate him for hurting and leaving me. It was nobody’s fault when a relationship just won’t work…perhaps we are really not destined to be with each other. It hurts but I choose to lay my feelings aside, I refuse to indulge in the feeling of depression; instead, I want to give myself a chance to see for myself what life has for me after letting go of him… I am moving on with life.

**Nobody has the right to copy this….hehe…philo paper ko to!

Destiny speaks

” There was one time i fell in love with someone very special & i told myself that i will never give up on that person, but one day, i did. why? Hindi ko kasi alam na ganun pala kahirap pag di ka na niya mahal…”

New Year’s resolution

Year 2005 was a very colorful year. My family and my health was good. Family members were united in overcoming problems. i’ve earned good grades, learned new things in school thus accumulated more knowledge. I’ve made good friends and hurt some. i’ve prayed for a wonderful- “my dream” love life with the love of my life, but instead got frustrated. Good and bad things happened…I’ll forever cherish the good ones and learn from the not so nice experience. Nevertheless, i still feel so blessed.

it had been my doing at the beginning of every year to list my New Year’s Resolution. In this yr., i will be more of an active person…hopefully adventuruous one. i promise to maintain a healthy lifestyle by eating a healthy diet, spending at least 10 mins everyday for exercise so that i’ll get slim..hehe. i’ll be a better daughter to my parents by being more obedient to them. I’ll not waste my time hoping for “my dream love life”, instead be contented on what we are right now- FRIENDS…come to think of it, he is serious in his studies because that’s my wish…perhaps we can be lovers in the future.No entertaining of suitors this year…they’re headaches. I’ll still be concentrating on my studies, read more books to gain more knowledge, but i hope to engage in sports.

i pray for a healthy & wealthy, full of blessings, and prosperous year for myself, family and friends…

Recollection

Oh poor blog, couldn’t update you daily for there are lots of more important things that I need to do. Yesterday was something for me, I had my second recollection. 5 of my classmates weren’t able to catch the ride to “Home of Peace”, where are recollection was held. They were late and were not allowed to “habol”, but I guess they had a great time watching movie instead. I like this year’s recollection than last year’s. I find the title of the recollection much much more important. We started our session faced to reflect on “Do you consider the people around you today TRUE HUMAN?” But sad to say no one got the right answer, all of us answered “YES”, with the reason that we grounded humans as having his physical attributes.

Later the speaker spoke on the human face of God as the authentic face of humanity. She dwelled on

a.)    Human as created in the image and likeness of God. This invites us to give love to others, to allow ourselves to receive love and to return that love to God. (KAIBIGAN)

b.)    Human as Stewards. As a steward, we are entrusted with the things around us. We do not own any of the gifts that God lend to us. Therefore, we should not bear ownership in any thing. God loves us and trusts us. As human beings created like God, ability to trust others is buried beneath us. Being trusted implies that we should take care of the things entrusted to us. (KATIWALA)

c.) Human as fellow human beings. We are created equal. We are created from His image and likeness. And as you can remember man’s companion was created bone from his bone, flesh from his flesh. We are one. There is no reason for us to feel superior than others or to degrade other’s morality. Doing so, you’re just degrading your own humanity. (PAKIKIPAGKAPWA-TAO).

So, my definition of TRUE HUMAN was wrong. This explains why sometimes we hear people say that “Ese si ______, hindi se ele hente…plastic se…blablablah…” It is because being true human is having the face of God. It was only then (Thank God I didn’t miss the recollection) I realized the meaning of being a true human and the challenge for all of us.

Before ending our session, we were given a piece of paper with guide questions to reflect on. If perchance someone is reading my blog, you may also want to reflect on yourselves..

1. Human as created in the image and likeness of God
2. 1. Do I value and appreciate myself (as child of God)?
   2. Have I neglected my relationship with God?
   3. In what situations have I shown my lack of dependence, faith, trust and hope in God?

1. Human as Stewards
2. 1. Have I betrayed the trust of others?
   2. Have I manipulated, controlled, or abused the gifts of God to me (things or people)?
   3. Have I behaved like an Owner? How?

1. Human as fellow human beings
2. 1. Have I been cruel or rude to others?
   2. Have I put down or hurt those who have “less” than I have or those who are “different” from me?
   3. Have I been hard and unforgiving of others’ weaknesses?

That’s all for now! I hope to share something with you very soon!

why???

Why are you treating me this way? As if you don’t see and feel what i am doing. I just want to know who i am to you but you seem to not care. I asked you a serious question but hear no replies from you. If there’s something you want to tell me but fear that you’ll hurt me, let me tell you this: “You are hurting me already…” Is my question hard to answer? Just be true to yourself…answer it honestly… please….

important dates

march 11,1999
february 14
November 6, 2001
March 11-13,2003
April 3-7, 2003
October 20, 2004
November 4, 2005
November 11, 2005
November 28-29, 2005